A Girl Named Francesca
by MiSaFanatic
Summary: Franky Doyle decided to start a diary whilst in prison, documenting the highs and lows of life behind bars. Begins in season 3. A collection of journal entries, not a story.
1. Chapter 1

_7th April 2015_

Life without parole. Jesus. I mean, I'd almost feel sorry for the bitch if she hadn't tried to kill me. But nuh, she got as good as she gave. To be fair, she had some balls pulling a stunt like that off, I'll give her that much. But I will not be bowing down to the 'Queen Bea'. No fuckin' way. I'll just do my own shit.

Anyway. We've had some temporary shrink in here for the last few months, by the board's orders apparently. He suggested the idea of a journal and you know what, the idea isn't that bad. Not that I'll let anyone know, but it kills some time, you know? If I can keep this hidden it can be my outlet for all the shit that goes on in this wonderful palace of dreams. Could also double up as a little black book - joke! Apparently, we have a new permanent psychologist starting soon. Some of the women need it, batshit crazy this place is. Wouldn't catch me there though, i'm just doing my time and waiting for my parole date.

Shit is real boring. I mean, I'd rather watch paint dry. Since Bea's little stunt, every single fucking privilege has been revoked. No TV. No radio. Guards sniffing so far up our arses they can probably tell what we've had for dinner. Thank god I've got my law books, but i'm getting restless. I'm working in the kitchen's at the moment, and we've got a little thing going on there, ya know, but I won't say too much right now. Let's see how long I can keep this up for without it being found, then the real juicy shit can come out! When I get out of this hell hole I'd love to read these back. They should make a fuckin' novel, I bet they would be that good!

Since Kim left, Jodie's been the one keeping my bed warm. She's gay for the stay, most of the women usually are, but she's cute and helps pass the time. I want a proper girl once I'm out though, i'm 28 now and I've never had a real proper relationship. Ya know, the type you read in the books where couples are just madly in love with each other. I want that with someone. It won't be Jodie, but I reckon I'd be good at that relationship shit. I've never been with a blonde, I reckon that could be good for me. I've only ever been with dark-haired women, and none of them have ever worked out let's face it. I've never even been in love before. That real love, where you just can't imagine living life without that person by your side. I want that, and I wanna be able to lower my guard and let someone see the real me. Being tough and guarded is shit, I just want someone to share my life with. Once I am out of here, it's gonna be a clean break. Mark my words, I'm gonna sort my shit and get me a girl!

Well, Ferguson pulled me aside earlier to tell me that Bea had life without parole. She also reminded me of our so-called 'deal', but she's not holding up her end, getting rid of my competitors. I also reminded her of the fat-ass elephant that walked back into the room, but she said she's putting an end to the agreement. Well, fuck her. Red summoned me to a meeting with her now that she's back. Pah. She thinks she can boss me around too, well she had another thing coming. But I'm looking to keep the peace, so I went. Some shit about Cindy Lou. Like I give a fuck about that junkie skank. It's my kitchen, not hers. But she's put Maxi Pad on the roster now, nothing I could have done. Fuck! She really is running the shit around here. And, she threatened me. Told me there would be a 'real problem if the drugs coming in are traced back to me'. Fuck off already! Good job i'm good at keeping it cool; she will never fucking know, that bitch.

Is this meant to be a proper diary? I dunno. I'm just writing what comes into my head, to be honest, but I kinda wanna keep track of everything that's happening in here. I'll just use this as a little random thought jotter.

Lagging Lizzie is back. Well, out of protection. Ferguson's punishment to Bea at a guess. But Boomer gave her a bashing, and I can't help but be worried about her. A lagger gets what she deserves, but for fucks sake, it's Liz. My 'mother', the few good things about this shithole. And you know what, I can see why she did it and I can't really blame her. Liz is one of the few people in my life I actually trust, even after what she did. But I can't be seen showing that kinda attitude out loud, so I just gotta try and make sure Booms or no one else gets to her, again.

Anyway, shits on lockdown right now, all thanks to Red, even though she's in the slot. She's trying to get back the privileges for the women, fair dos to her. But taking on Ferguson? Pah! Good luck Red! Been sent back to our units but most of H block is still running riot in the yard. Silly fuckers, gonna get what's coming to them!

Until next time my new confidant, gonna kill some time with Jodie ;)

Franky.


	2. Chapter 2

_11th April 2015_

Bea is a first class fucking cunt. You didn't hear Boomer's screams as her hands were scalded under the iron, nor did you see the terror in her eyes as she lookd at me and pleaded for help. And I couldn't do a thing to stop it. Fuck! She's after me, not Booms, even though she was the one that bashed Liz. She wants to take me down. Well, fucking bring it.

The day started shit, like a sign of things to come I guess.

Queen fucking Bea ordered in pizza for breakfast. Fucking pizza! I dunno what deal her and the governor have got going on, but I don't like the smell of it one bit. Mixing saturated fats and bribes? No thank you. She's gonna get over her head, but the women are falling for her bullshit. All hail Queen Bea! Not gonna lie though, I really really really wanted some pizza. Even just a tiny slice. But I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of falling for her crap. Nuh uh. Rather eat shit than see a smug look on her face.

The chicken deal nearly got busted today thanks to the rancid fucking chicken being sent in. We had to get a new order in. Of course, Miss Bennett was all over that and went through each delivery box, Ferguson watching like a beady-eyed hawk. Didn't bust me though, did she?! But then there was the cell toss and a load of gear was found in Jodie's cell. This reeks of Bea. I'm watching her closely, and she'd better watch her back. The women may see straight through her, but I don't.

Everyone's money was in the gear though, Juice, Tina, Cindy Lou. I'm gonna have to replace that shit real fast, or find the money to give back to them. Cindy's crew is already up my ass seeing as the 'happy lucky' didn't pan out and now she's demanding 10% each day for the money I owe her if the gear doesn't come through. 10%?! Is she having a laugh?! She's gunning for me.

Everyone is fucking gunning for me.

I went to see Booms, and she hates me and all. She couldn't understand why I couldn't step in and help her, and you know what, I don't blame her. She told me some truths about myself and I hate myself for how I've treated her. I knew she would always be there, through the worst of it all and I abused that. I'm falling, tumbling and I can't stop. I have a bad feeling about everything that's going on and I hate not being in control. Wentworth is about to get a whole lot shadier.

I think I like having this journal to confide in. Doesn't feel so, I dunno, lonely I guess. Someone to tell my secrets too. I'm never alone in this shit hole, but I've never felt so lonely. You can't confide in anyone here, not properly. But you, my companion, you are the keeper of my secrets, the friend I need, and the company I crave. Too bad you are made of fucking paper.


	3. Chapter 3

_19th April 2015_

Gear. Gear gear gear gear gear.

Fuck.

Cindy Lou and Tina can eat fucking shit. Those druggy skanks are out of their minds. One hour? Jog on mate. But Cindy Lou is a crazy bitch, I heard she's in for killing her boyfriend. Juice has some shit on her, but she's charging double for it. I need to find a way to pay but i'm low on cash. Something tells me Juice doesn't just take payment in cash, but i'm not that desperate. Fucking Boome said she spent my stash on chocolate. Fucking chocolate! I wanted to deck her one but i'm smarter than Booms. I went for a little 'look' in her cell and found my money behind one of her shitty posters. But then Juice and her boys came and took it, no gear in sight. That fat hep c bitch basically suggested I need to go muff diving to get the shit I need.

Bea is fucking loving this, meanwhile. She offered to clear the debt, I bet just to show her power and fucking authority. I don't need anything from her. I'd rather pull my eyeballs out with a fork than accept her help. But fuck, I need some help goddammit.

Kim came to see me today. I asked her to come and bring some money, and she did, but it wasn't enough. I can't even pretend that I was looking forward to seeing her for all the right reasons. She was gay for the stay, I was a distraction and she was a good looking fuck. That was it. I'm ashamed that i'm using her like this, but I'm fucking desperate right now. No way am I fishing with Juice!

Cindy Lou and her crew came for me earlier. If it wasn't for Vinegar Tits those junkies would probably have stabbed me or something. Got me a verbal abuse charge, but saved me from a beating or worse. Only thing is, its messed with my parole. Ferguson threatened another 6 months before I could apply again. Nuh uh, no fuckin' way. I have to find a way to stop it; even an extra hour in this place is an hour too many. Me and my big fucking mouth, eh?

I had a run in with the new psych though. She seems decent, plus she's pretty hot. Hot in a classy, mysterious minx sort of way. She has this blonde hair, tied in a messy ponytail, and she was wearing tight trousers and this blazer that hugged her in the right places. She even knew I was up for parole, she must have read my file. Impressive. But then Cindy, Tina and the rest of the dogs spotted me and made it very clear I was a dead woman. So, I did what I had to do. I trashed the library, and made a big fucking scene. I'd already blown my parole so what the hell. I flung chairs about the room, books from the shelf and screamed and shouted. The whole time, Miss Westfall tried to calm me down but it was no use. Cindy's pack of vultures was staring down at me, smirks on their scraggy faces and then finally Mr Jackson came and dragged me to the slot. Well, I say dragged, I went rather voluntarily. At least I would be safe there, away from attempts on my life from those vile humans. Maybe a week in there, enough time for me to think of a plan to get myself out of this shitstorm.

But as soon as Mr J locked the door, I had a visitor in the slot. Miss Westfall! I heard her ask Ferguson if she could speak to me, but the governor's reply was simply, "she's a convicted criminal. She threw a pan of boiling oil over someone's face, she's a drug dealer and violent delinquent. She is beyond help." But the psych stood up for me! Shit! No one has stood up for me before, especially not in this place. Even Erica turned her back on me. But Miss Westfall gave me a small reassuring smile, and I couldn't help but smile back, genuinely. Something inside me told me that she was a rare good one in this house of horrors. Let's hope that will ring true.

Some weird shit is going down though. Ferguson came into the slot and into Jodie's cell. I don't know what the fuck happened but I could hear her crying. She's cray cray. Jodie wouldn't speak to me after, she just kept crying. But I never got to find out what happened. My stay in the _Playa de la Slot_ came to an end not even 24 hours later. But I was greeted by Miss Westfall. Not a bad sight in the morning if you asked me! I was bored, and intrigued by her, so I decided to see if I could push her, see how much she could take. She told me she had good news and I scoffed, and remarked that she wasn't wearing any underwear! Cheeky, I know, but if she could take a joke, I knew she'd be cool. She laughed. Yeah, she's alright I guess, and easy on the eye. Not gonna lie though, I was scared to leave the slot, scared to see what my fate would be. I also wanted to see what the deal with Jodie was, but protesting to stay did me no good. Smiles literally dragged me by my legs before I got up and admitted defeat.

I had a counselling session today, but to be honest I was so anxious about what was probably waiting for me that I spent most of it on tenterhooks, peering out the window. Miss Westfall was spouting her counselling crap, but you know what, she spoke the truth. All those things she said about me, I didn't wanna admit. It's strange, it's as if she knows me somehow, like she could get inside my head and view my thoughts and insecurities. I thought that was weird. She asked me if I could ever see myself leaving this place, so I told her I wanted to walk out of these gates, and this place and everyone in it is just a smoking pile of ashes. I wanna be picked up by a hot girl in a hot car, and driven off into the sunset. Pah! Like fuck. My parole is fucked, i'm fucked, it's all fucked.

Anger and hope. That's me all over, apparently. But there is no hope. None. Zilch. Nada.

If you don't hear from me again, Cindy Lou has eaten me for dinner.

Franky.


	4. Chapter 4

_20th April 2015_

Juice is the vilest human on this plant.

I am the vilest human on this planet.

I fucking hate my life.


	5. Chapter 5

_24th April 2015_

So she saved my ass but she's still a nasty piece of shit. And i'm even worse for even going there. Bea came and told me she 'cleared my debt'. I don't need her help. She didn't need to do that, I didn't ask her to. She's just flinging her authority about, as per. I heard her hubby was killed, her and Mr J were being interrogated or some shit. I called her the Grim Reaper and he flipped on me and slapped me. True, I deserved it. But whatever, I've got too much to be worrying about with all her stuff as well.

I thought it was a great idea to tattoo this spiral on my wrist. I was bored, frustrated and needed an outlet, so my wrist took the slack. Pretty sure it's infected but whatever, it won't kill me, will it? If it does, and if anyone finds this, please tell Miss Westfall she's kinda hot! ;)

Speaking of Miss Westfall, she's gone up in the rating chart big time! She only went and convinced Vinegar Tits to remove that extra charge and I can apply for my parole again! Fuck yeah! She made me apologise to Miss Bennet but you know what, fair play. I _was_ out of line and I was being a little shit, so I apologised, and for the first time in a long time, I meant it. I'm fucking over the moon! I honestly never thought I would get out of here, but for the first time in a long, long time I can see a future, and just a sliver of a silver lining.

And all thanks to Gidget. Gidget! Yeah, I gave her that nickname, it suits her! I could have sworn she even smiled cheekily at me! She's mysterious, I think I wanna know more...

So, Jodie's out the slot. Looks like shit, she does, but something's up with her. I know it's Ferguson but i'll find out. Gidget came to the outdoor gym to check I was still coming to the session tomorrow. Like I would miss it! Hot woman, an hour or so away from the rest of the dickheads, a woman who saved my arse, yeah, I'll be there come rain or shine. She noticed my tatt, doesn't miss a thing does Gidget! I pushed her buttons again, to get a real feel for how far she would go. Told her I was motivated _and_ aroused at the thought of our sessions, as a joke obviously (or maybe only slightly, not gonna lie)! She definitely likes women, I can tell from her vibe. But something also tells me she's not quite like Erica. Nuh, she's better.

Anyway, so shit. Liz's drunk daughter has been banged up! Would you believe it! Like mother, like daughter. She hit some cyclist apparently. But whatever. Got bigger shit to worry about. Like finding out what Jodie's deal is. She was having some sort of weird nightmare when I went into her cell, I think she thought I was the Freak. But I know it was Red, it was written all over her face when I asked her. Bea will never admit to it, but I fucking know it was her.

I had my session with Gidge though. But even she bought up fucking Red. She 'wants to get inside that mind of mine'. Yeah, I'd get inside a lot more than that! But obviously, I won't tell her that. So I told her about the bullshit that I had to deal with when I was Top Dog. You know what though, i'm glad it's not me anymore. It was tiring. It was fuckin' draining, not knowing where my next death threat was coming from. I'm even kinda glad Red took that shit from me, but that's just between me and you, alright diary? Parole is my focus now, and getting the fuck out of this dump. I'm a reformed individual with just one thing on my mind.

Someone shived Bea in the yard earlier. She looked back at me as if to say "it was you", but it fucking wasn't. Even I'm not that stupid. Ah man, i'm so over all this shit now. Just wanna get the fuck out of here. But you know what pissed me off the most and even hurt a little? Gidget came to me and implied that it was me! I told her I'd be honest with her, and she still tried to stick it on me! She apologised when she realised she was totally wrong of course, but still. I thought she was beginning to see the real me, not the version of me in my case file and from what the screws have told her. Well, fuck her. Fuck everyone!

Good fuckin' night.


	6. Chapter 6

_12th May 2015_

I'm so bored. So bored, I've actually befriended that little lagger-to-be Sophie. And it's winding up Liz to no end. That's why I'm doing it, hit her where it hurts the most. Soph's seeing what her mother actually is, a fuckin' lagger. Red tried to stick her nose in and all. She also asked for my help with Jodie. She's funny! Jodie won't go up against the Freak, she doesn't have it in her. She had a point though, the Freak wants me _and_ Bea, well she deffo ain't gonna get me fucked up. So, I sided with Bea. We're taking it in turns to watch Jodie. She doesn't eat or sleep until she tells someone exactly what happened in the slot.

We had this stupid group therapy session today about anger and shit. Liz had to open her big mouth and spurt off about how I have 'blood on my hands'. She's treading a fine fucking line, she is. But yeah, whatever. Liz wants a few home truths? She'll get 'em. Her precious Sophie isn't as innocent as she thinks. Had to tell her that it wasn't her first offence and her licence had been revoked. See how she likes that. You see, I will never lay a hand on Liz. I couldn't I loved her too much. But I will hurt her with words, that's how you really get to her. She really fucking hurt me by lagging, so I wanna make her feel the same.

Out of everything that has happened to me in here, I think that hurt me the most. I trusted Liz with my life. I respected her and looked up to her. She was a good person in my eyes, a great person. But she shat all over me, just like everyone else in my life. I'm used to heartache and misery, but I really thought Liz had my back. Oh well. You live and you learn. Like fuck will I ever trust another person. I'm good on my own.

I'm good on my own.

I'm good on my own.

I'm not good on my own.

I've been on my own for so long it's the only way I know. But I long for company. Someone to lay awake with in the middle of the night and share my secrets and my fears with. I've never had that, my past relationships weren't exactly the hearts and flowers type. Not that I am, but everyone needs some love sometimes. When i'm out of here, I wanna find that girl. She's gotta be smart and able to hold a conversation, and she needs to understand that sometimes I need my own space. It's not too much to ask for, right?

I had another session with Gidget today, but i'm still pissed at her. She breached the trust, so the onus is on her to rebuild. She acknowledged she breached that, blah blah blah blah. How can I have therapy sessions with a psychologist I can't trust? I thought she was better than that. She bought up Liz, and asked me if she was someone I trusted. I think she was a little, I dunno, intimidated perhaps about how I ripped into her about Sophie. She reckons my only form of defence seems to be attack. Well, no shit! You provoke me, I attack back. It's a reaction. Thought she would have studied the Freudian shit. But I didn't wanna talk about my defence mechanisms. I wanted to shift the focus off of me, so I pushed her buttons again.

When was your first time with a woman?

I'm not 100% certain she's a lesbian, but my gaydar is pinging, and I wanna find out. She laughed awkwardly, and that confirmed it for me. But then she admitted it. I fucking knew it! This should make our sessions a whole lot more interesting now!

I'm still babysitting Jodie. It's getting boring now, but she needs to open up. Bea and I are getting along, not like besties, but at least we are civil in some respects. Jodie will crack soon, it's only a matter of time. And she cracked. Fuckin' finally! But I think she's lost the bloody plot now. The Freak has really fucked her up. As I watched Jodie sleep she reminded me of myself as a child. Scared, messed up and lonely. She's got me, but if this messes up and the Freak wins, she's really fucked. We all are.

G'night companion.

Franky x


End file.
